How to start dating again – Are you over your ex

Posted on: 6th June 2017 | by Emily

When you start dating someone new it can bring back a wave of memories, usually about your ex. Maybe they treated you bad and the relationship didn’t end well or you are still in love with them but they don’t feel the same way about you. But whatever you feel about your ex, they are your ex which means they have no part in your romantic side of a relationship anymore. So when you go on a first date with a new girl or guy try and keep any thoughts about an old flame firmly at the back of your mind. Or preferably don’t even let it entertain any part of your mind at all.

If you don’t think you are over your past relationship yet then you should think about staying single for a little while longer. Don’t be in such a rush to jump into a new relationship just because you feel lonely or you quite like them.

A relationship should only happen if both parties want it fully and don’t have any baggage that is holding them back. Yes I know that nowadays we all have some type of baggage that we bring to new relationships and that is fine when what you bring to the table is memories and lessons learnt. But when it is always on your mind and it takes away from your present moment then it is time to take a step back and think. What do you really want?

When you are on your date, don’t judge them too quickly. Don’t assume just because your ex did one thing they will do exactly the same. Not all women and men are the same, well not exactly anyway. Just go with the flow, relax  and see how they act and be themselves. Just because your ex would be rude to the waiting staff doesn’t mean your new date will also be rude.

Cut off contact with your ex. This maybe hard to do but if either of you still has feelings for one another they will always be in the back of your mind, even if you yourself don’t have any feelings for them you will always be thinking how can I enjoy myself with a new date if my ex is going to find out and get upset.

Don’t look for similarities with your last boy/girlfriend instead what is your new dates unique points? Look for them, what makes them different to your ex? By seeing them in a different light to your past relationship you should be able to get past any negativity or have about relationships.

When you do decide to start dating again be sure it’s because you want to date this person for who they are, and don’t have any ideas about who they remind or don’t remind you of. Don’t date because you feel lonely or all your friends are settling down.

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